Mentoring Restored Joy to Our Marriage
Newlyweds aren’t the only couples who benefit from mentoring: Jerry and Kathy* were married for many years before they learned about mentoring. They were committed to the marriage, but like so many other spouses in their predicament, their relationship lacked joy. Much of it had to do with them getting out of the habit of expressing their love and respect for each other.
According to Kathy, “Our marriage lacked satisfaction. We argued a lot and seemed to disagree on everything. We certainly didn’t reflect God’s goodness and grace toward one another.” She also commented, “While our daughter was at college, we heard about mentoring through our church and decided to give it a try.” “We didn’t know what to expect, but we knew we needed to do something.”
Jerry said, “I didn’t have much hope that things would change, and figured I’d just keep trudging along in the relationship.” When asked what he remembered about beginning the process, Jerry commented, “Our mentors were lovingly honest with us about what was causing our issues: We didn’t listen to each other and competed for our individual rights rather than trying to resolve our problems. My wife went her way and I went mine. We had very little in common.”
Jerry and Kathy’s mentors weren’t called to “fix” their marriage, but they were deeply committed to helping them learn to enjoy one another again. “Our mentors taught us active listening techniques and helped us practice problem-solving. They had a deep and unfailing commitment to us and to our marriage and showed us many kindnesses and a tremendous amount of patience. We are grateful for their sacrifices on our behalf and for their drive to see us honor God through our marriage,” Kathy declares.
“The most important thing I learned,” says Jerry “is that I don’t need to fix Kathy, I just need to listen to her when she’s expressing what’s on her heart.”
Kathy continued, “I learned to be patient with Jerry and to express respect and consideration for him, and to trust that God is doing a work in his heart.” She went on to say, “This ministry has truly enriched our marriage and we feel we are finally living with each other as God intended, honoring one another and bringing honor to Him.”
Joy is restored to this couple’s marriage because they learned to put God first in their relationship, but also because others cared enough to invest in the enrichment and restoration ministry of Strong Marriages. People working together, giving time, energy and financial resources to help build Godly strong marriages to provide families hope for tomorrow. Will you prayerfully consider making a gift to help help many more spouses like Jerry and Kathy?
*Fictitious names used to protect confidentiality.